A Year With Anakalian Whims – 2012 Stats
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 11,000 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 18 years to get that many views.
A Dubious Review
I get offers to review e-books all the time, it is the most efficient and affordable way for an author to get their work out there. However, I do not own an e-reader just yet. So as per my Review Policy, I found a guest blogger to read and review the book for me.
Lavois is an intelligent, honest gal that I’ve know most my life. She’s an intuitive reader, a good friends, and happens to own the device needed to help sort through pending e-book review requests.
I hope to feature more of her reviews and guest articles in the future.
Title: A Dubious Artifact
Author: Gerald J. Kubicki
Publisher: Self-published/ Indie
Format: E-book
Let me begin by letting you know that I am not an experienced reviewer of books. In fact, this is my first. I’ve always been a voracious reader, even to the point of having to avoid reading certain books during certain times in my life, knowing that the book would consume all of my attention and free time. I had recently allowed myself to really start diving into reading full time again when my wonderful friend Anakalia offered me the opportunity to review a book for her. The book she sent me was A Dubious Artifact by Gerald J. Kubicki, the sixth novel in his Colton Banyon mystery/adventure series.
I think it’s also incumbent upon me to let you know that I have not read the first five novels published by Kubicki. I began with the sixth. I feel that it’s important for me to let you know this because I believe I may have connected better with the novel had I been involved in the rest of Banyon’s adventures. I initially wanted to chalk this up to weak character development but after thinking about it, I realized that these characters had been involved in five previous adventures together. Kubicki probably assumes that his readers would have started with book one and routinely references past adventures and past characters with only minimal explanation in A Dubious Artifact. For this reason it may serve you to start from the beginning. The first in the series, A Dubious Mission, can be found on Amazon by following the title link.
I must admit, had difficultly staying engaged while reading A Dubious Artifact and I believe that this can be remedied in large part by another round of editing. Kubicki’s story had some true potential, and at times I could feel myself slipping into the story, forgetting that I was reading a book, but then a spelling error, misused word or clumsily written sentence would yank me back into the reality of my reading chair. This was somewhat frustrating for me, not only because I so badly wanted to get into the novel, but because these were completely avoidable issues. Eventually, I had to set the book aside because I couldn’t get past this. It may be a good time for Kubicki to take stock of his entire series and come out with a newly revised second edition. While I had some difficulties with the novel this time around, I did get to know the characters enough that I can genuinely say I would give them another go in a revised edition.
A Tidbit from Miss Golightly
“My dog and a book are ideal company when I feel sickly.” – Jennifer Joy Golightly
The Waitress
My last table is finally getting up to leave. I swear, they sat there forever. I was starting to wonder if they were going to sprout roots. I hate how long it takes people to get up. All having to say their goodbyes to each and every person while they’re still standing around the damn table and I have to wait on them to go home to their families and their beds so I can clean up their mess. I want to go home and go to bed too you know, but people don’t consider the waitress. For the thirty minutes I’m in your life, or hour and a half if you consider these people. I’m just here to serve you, and if I don’t get your water that you didn’t pay for filled up in a timely manner then by god no tip for that lazy hussie.
Finally, they’re walking out the door and I can get this damn table clean. “People are such pigs,” I whisper under my breath. I swear if I were to collect all the damn mustard these folks left on their table or seat or wherever the hell it landed we’d have a whole extra bottle of French’s for tomorrow’s lunch.
Dammit, someone left their credit card. Mr. Spencer Dean Thurgood. Well isn’t that nice, left a measly three dollar tip and the guy has a platinum card. Spencer, who names their kid that anyway? That’s like someone naming their kid Floyd, it’s an old mans name. I mean how often do you ever see a kid running around these days named Floyd?
Spencer Dean Thurgood. With a name like that I bet he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and another one in his hand in case the one in his mouth ever fell out. Hopefully he won’t notice his card is missing until tomorrow so I can get all my work done and get home.
The table is finally clean now. What time is it? Ten fifteen, dammit, I need to call Rodney and tell him I’m going to be home late. He’s gonna be mad. I knew I shouldn’t have covered for Mary, but she worked a double today and her dad isn’t doing too well and she’s the only person that old man has.
Jane’s on the phone, dammit, Rodney is going to be pissed I’m coming home late. I tap Jane on the shoulder and she just gives me a hold on a minute finger. Guess I’ll go ahead and get some silverware cleaned.
A little bit later Jane pops her head around the corner, “Hey darlin’, you need to use the phone?”
I tell her yeah, and say thanks and I go to the phone. It rings twice and Rodney picks it up.
“The hell are you woman?” He asks.
“I took Mary’s closing shift cause she worked a double and her dad’s sick.” He ain’t gonna believe me.
“Bullshit!” he yells into the phone as if I couldn’t hear him if he’d just said it normal. “You’re fucking around on me aren’t you?”
“No.” I tell him, “I swear I’m still at work, I’m just gonna be here a little longer and then I’ll be home. I promise.”
“You know I’m getting sick of you lying to me all the time. You spend more time up there at that job than you spend with your own damn kid. If you’re even at that job as often as you say you are.”
He’s mad.
“I spend all this time here because you ain’t working you son of a bitch.” I’m not sure where that came from, but it feels good, kind of proud, copping an attitude right back at him. He never hit me before, but I imagine that’s the kind of remark that would push a man to the point of hitting a woman. Least it’s over the phone so even if he wanted too…
“Woman, you know I been looking for a job but since the brick factory laid me off it’s been hard to find anything.” his usual excuse, and then his usual rebuttal. “But that don’t matter none, and you need to get your ass home.”
“I told you I’ll be home once my shift is over.” I am getting so sick of his shit.
“Whatever.”
Good, his whatever usually means that he’s damn near done talking and I can get back to work.
“And grab some damn diapers at that new all night Wal-Mart over there on Elm on your way home. If you really are still at the diner.”
“I swear I’m at the diner.” I hate how he never believes me. He is a son of a bitch and it’s moments like this one I can’t stand him, “I’ll be home in a little bit.” Dammit, I’m starting to cry, I can’t let him hear it or he’ll win. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
I hang up the phone and can feel tears sliding down my cheeks. I really don’t want anyone to see me like this right now, I should probably go to the back.
Shit, I just noticed my reflection in the mirror just off the door. God I look like a mess, make up running down my cheeks and eyes, red as hell. Damn him for making me feel like this all the time, damn him. I swear, we used to be so good together, at one point we were, I swear we were.
“We were!” I hiss at my reflection. It’s no use, my make up is smeared, my face is flushed and my eyes are red. Now I have to deal with talking about what’s wrong with Jane and Vera. Oh well, maybe it will help to get all of this out.
I go around the corner, still flushed and weepy eyed and there’s Jane standing there polishing away at the silverware. She looks up, “Oh my lord, what’s wrong honey?”
“Nothing.” I tell her. It feels like snot is running down my upper lip so I wipe my sleeve across it but it doesn’t look like there’s actually anything there.
“Honey, you don’t look good.” Jane puts her hand on my shoulder. Poor girl, I know she means well but damn if she isn’t a naive little thing. She thinks she knows so much but she’s only seventeen and lord, she has no idea. She is a sweet girl though.
“It’s Rodney.” I say without thinking. Dammit, I didn’t want to talk about it.
“He mad you staying late again?” Jane asks. She is such a sweet cute little girl. If I had any sense I’d have been one of them lesbians and tried to get in the sack with Jane instead of Rodney. At least then I wouldn’t have ended up having a damn kid on top of everything else.
“Yeah,” I tell her, “He thinks I’m cheating on him cause I took Mary’s shift so she could go home and take care of her dad.”
“Honey, I know that I ain’t been working here long and I don’t really know much about you and your beau. But from all I hear, that Rodney is an ass.” I want to smack the bitch. Only because I know she’s absolutely right.
“We got a kid,” I tell her.
“I heard about that.” she pauses for a moment, “Still don’t mean he ain’t any less of an ass.”
“You think you’re so god damn smart.” My attitude is starting to get the best of me. She’s absolutely right and that’s what pisses me off, “How the hell would you know? I got a damn baby with that man and yeah, he’s a prick, but I do love him.”
I love him. I love him. I love him.
If I say it enough it’s true right? I think I can keep myself convinced if I say it enough.
“Sorry,” Jane hunkers down a bit and keeps polishing the silverware. We don’t say anything for awhile. She just keeps polishing the silverware and I keep rolling it up inside napkins for tomorrow.
“Sorry Jane,” I say, “I didn’t mean nothing.”
Poor girl, so young.
“You know, you should get the hell out of this town while you can.” I snap at her, and I mean it. This place is a damn cancer and the quicker someone can get out, the better. I had the chance whenever I first graduated high school but I thought I was in love. I had a full scholarship and was going to go to college but Rodney screwed all that up. He was going nowhere and was a nobody. But at the time he was everything to me. He knew that all he had to do was say them three words and I’d be like putty.
“I love you.” he told me, “Don’t leave me, you’re all I got.”
That son of a bitch kept me here. Now I’m working in a shit hole diner and I spent nine months of my life lugging his little bastard around in my belly.
“Jane,” I tell her, “If a man ever tells you that he loves you…” I stop for a minute. All motion ceases, we both stand there as time stands still.
“Yeah?” Jane asks. Her eyes are big and green. She’s still seventeen and beautiful and skinny. It isn’t fair that beauty is given to the young and stupid.
“Don’t let no man tell you they love you.” I tell her.
“Rodney tell you that?” she asks with a smirk.
“Shut your god damn mouth bitch.” I can barely say it and keep the laugh in. I like this side of her, but I can’t show it. Not when it comes to Rodney.
“Oh child, is that boy at you again?” Vera is just coming out of the kitchen. Vera owns the diner and the whole menu is based on her granny’s cooking, she says. She is such a sweet old lady and her cooking is amazing. About the only thing I really don’t care for about Vera is when she finds out it is someone’s birthday she makes us all go sing to them and give them a piece of her famous peach cobbler. She swears one bite of it and they’ll be back for more. “We give them one helping of my granny’s famous peach cobbler for free and they’ll be back sooner or later. I swear child, it’s just like them potato chips on the T. V., you can’t eat just one.”
The thing I loved most about Vera was that no matter what she was doing, whether it was taking care of the books or whipping up a batch of that famous peach cobbler she always made time for gossip. If there is one thing you can trust Vera for, it’s that she will always have time to gossip.
“Yeah, he thinks I’m cheating on him.” I tell Vera.
“Child, that ain’t no good.” she purses her lips. “Tell that boy he need to learn his place. You make the money now doncha?”
“Yeah.” I love the way Vera talks, it’s like something from a time forgotten. It always puts a smile on my face.
“Well baby girl, I was you I’d leave his ass. Huh. Jesus Christ tell us to treat each other right and some boy be treating you wrong like he does, then he don’t go with God and that ain’t no man for you sugar.” There was something about when Vera cursed, it always made me laugh a little.
“Oh but you got children with him huh?”
“Yeah, well, just the one.” I tell her.
“Oh child. You too young to be having babies. You just a baby youself. Babies having babies, my lord of wonders what gonna be happenin next?” Vera says shaking her head.
I smile. “Vera honey, I’m twenty five.”
“Oh honey child, I understand. I had my first little one when I was but sixteen.” Jane’s eyes widen as soon as she hears Vera say that. “That’s right dear child, and the the next one at nineteen. And lordy I don’t even know no more haha.” Vera just laughed. “I do love all my babies though, mothers love like no other, you know what I say doncha girl?”
I nod. From the look on Jane’s face I’m pretty sure that Vera and I have convinced Jane to never have children at all.
“How about you child? When are you going to make some babies?” Vera asks Jane. I know she was just messing with her but we are having fun now and I finally don’t feel as shitty as I did before.
“Uhm.” Jane was speechless.
Vera laughs louder than I’ve ever heard her laugh. “Oh child, I just be playing. You too young to be having babies. You need to get you an education and then you can have some babies.” Vera looks at me sternly. “Like you should have.”
Vera walks back into the kitchen and all I can think is “Thanks Vera, thanks a lot.”
I start feeling shitty again.
“I’m going to go have a cigarette.” I tell Jane and I turn around and head for the door.
“Can I join you?” Jane asks me. I can tell she was nervous about asking. Initially I want to say no but “Sure,” comes out of my mouth. I guess I could always use the company.
It’s cold outside and the heat from our breath on the cold air mixes with the cigarette smoke to make tiny clouds. We stand smoking and looking up at the stars, they’re bright out tonight.
“So why are you still with that guy?” Jane finally asks me.
“I guess cause we got a baby together,” I say.
“That don’t mean nothing. I know plenty kids with step parents. Hell I’m a step kid myself.”
I hate to admit it but she has a point.
“Well we at least gotta try right?” I ask her. I wonder if she might have a better concept on all of this since she’s never been thrown into the middle of it.
“I dunno. I mean you can try, but I dunno.” she pauses for a second, “I mean there are other avenues you can take.”
She’s looks up and smiles at me.
“I ain’t never seen none.” I say and I drop my cigarette on the ground. I stamp it out and go back inside. Jane puts out her cigarette and follows me right after. We finish up the last few silverware and then I turn towards her and sigh, “Well, I guess I’ll see you next time.”
“Yeah,” She’s still smiling at me, “See you.” she says and walks to the door.
Suddenly she turns around and puts her arms around me. “You’ll be ok.” she tells me. “You’re a beautiful strong woman. And I know there’s plenty of other people out there that would love to make you happy.”
She’s right. She pulls away and smiles at me again and then says good night and walks out the door towards her car.
I take my apron off and put it in the linen bag, yell goodnight to Vera, and then walk out to the door to my car. I look back up at the stars and wonder if Jane was right, if maybe there were some other avenues I could take. Maybe I could even end up going to college like I should have so long ago.
I guess I’ll worry about all that kind of stuff tomorrow though. Right now I just need to get home and get some sleep. I open tomorrow and it’s going to be a long day.
I turn the key in the ignition but the engine doesn’t turn over. I’ve been worried that something might be wrong with it. Rodney keeps on saying he’s going to get around to it but he hasn’t yet. The third time I turn the key it starts. I reverse out of the parking space behind the diner, shift the car into drive and start to head home. With any luck Rodney will be passed out drunk and I won’t have to deal with him tonight.
A Tidbit from Miss Golightly
A Book Lover has the uncanny ability to leave a book lying around just about everywhere… even the roof.
I use a book to prop my window open, and today it fell onto the roof below…whoopsie daisy! – Jennifer Joy Golightly
A Tidbit from Miss Golightly
Sal and I walked to Lakewood to enjoy a book and the outdoors. Every day should be as temperate as this one. – Jennifer Joy Golightly
A Tidbit from Miss Golightly
Deceased teddy bear found in Belmont Addition alley; name, age, and cause of death unknown. – Jennifer Joy Golightly
Photo by Jennifer Joy Golightly
Three A.M. – A Short Story
Original Story by E.B. Jones
I woke up slowly and looked at the clock, it was three in the morning. I can’t remember a single night since my wife and I moved here that I didn’t end up waking up at three in the morning. A train used to always come by at three and blow it’s whistle at the intersection right behind out house. The first time that it happened my wife and I both shot out of bed, scared out of our minds trying to figure out just what the hell was going on. We knew that there was a train track behind our house but we didn’t have any idea that it was going to be going past at three in the morning. The realtor had failed to mention that whenever we were looking at the house.
We’d moved here about six months after we were married because we decided that buying a home was the next logical step in our lives.
“It’s more like an investment,” She would say as she chewed celery and looked at the brochure that the mortgage company had given us. “I mean, right now we’re just throwing money away at that sleazy land lord of ours, and you know real estate always goes up in value.”
“Sounds good,” I would say, sipping my coffee and not trying to be contentious, “But are we really ready to settle down just yet?”
“Well, we were settled down enough to get married.” She laughed.
“You have a point.” I told her.
“Besides,” She would say as she put her hand on mine. “I think we’re ready.”
We both smiled and then spent the rest of the time figuring out the details on how to close, how much we would need for a down payment and everything else. She was much better with the numbers than I was so she took care of most of the details, besides, we both knew that it was really going to be her house.
The next few weeks we spent looking through the real estate ads at all the houses that were for sale.
“Oh, I absolutely love this one!” She would tell me quietly. She had heard that if the realtor knew that we were excited about a place then they would have an easier time convincing the client that it was a good home, despite the obvious flaws.
The realtor could still always tell whenever she was excited though, so I had to be the skeptic and ask questions that might make us look less interested. “I don’t know,” I would say, “I mean, what is the crime rate around here?” I wanted to make sure we weren’t getting something we would regret.
“It’s a lovely neighborhood, low crime, great schools and the neighbors are all just so active in the community.” The realtors always said the same thing, sometimes even in the same exact words and I wondered if there was some sort of script that all realtors had to memorize in order to get their license.
The first time we walked into the house that we would eventually buy in a month and a half my wife couldn’t keep it in. “I just love it!” She blurted out.
And we both told the realtor, “We’ll take it!” The final paperwork was signed and we made the hefty down payment and they handed us the keys.
We drove from the old apartment to the new house with the last of our things and got out, marveling at our first real purchase as a married couple. We stood for at least ten minutes just looking at the front door, then she broke the long silence. “Oh my god, a flower garden here on the front with some bushes would look amazing! I could plant some azalea’s and maybe some small bushes,” and then, “You can put in a nice brick walkway up to the front porch, and then people can walk up to it while we sit on the porch in the spring and sip on tea!”
She was so excited about our new home. I was excited as well, “I can build a shop back here so I can work on things.” I told her. I had no idea what I would work on, I was just an accountant and had never really built or repaired anything in my life, but it seemed like something that a married man would do.
“Oh! What kind of shop!” She would ask me excitedly.
“I don’t know yet, maybe I’ll get a lathe and learn how to do wood carving, like my grandpa did. Or I could just turn the garage into an auto repair place and buy me a hot rod and soup it up!”
She tilted her head and looked at me, “As long as it doesn’t take up my side of the garage.”
After walking around the house and coming up with all of our crazy ideas of shops, gardens, sun rooms, dinner parties, barbeques and even a quickly dismissed idea of beekeeping, we started to unload the car.
Most of the larger or heavy stuff we had hired professional movers to take care of so it didn’t take us very long to get everything into the house. We walked around the three bedroom house and were amazed at just how little possessions we actually owned.
“It’s ok, we can buy new things. Furniture that actually matches so it all looks proper.” I laughed.
“You’re right, and there’s two empty rooms, maybe we could think about starting a family. You know, once we get all settled in.” She said looking at me with a gleam in her eyes.
“Really?” I asked, “You want to try for kids?” I wasn’t sure how I felt about kids. I wasn’t against the idea, I had just never really given it much thought.
“Yeah,” She hesitated, “I mean, if you want too.”
I hesitated myself, then finally, “Of course, I’d love too.”
She slung her arms around me and kissed me and then jumped up in the air and before we realized what was going on we were in bed working on starting up a new family.
That evening we ordered pizza. I think it was mostly so we could invite someone to see our new place, thinking that they would think it was just as spectacular as we thought it was. The pizza delivery boy didn’t seem as excited as we were whenever she told him that we had just moved into the neighborhood.
We ate the pizza and watched our favorite movie together and then decided to go to sleep, it had been a very long day today, and we still had many more boxes to unpack tomorrow.
A few hours later, it happened, the loud screeching of a train screaming through the room like some kind of banshee trying to warn us that the house was haunted. I jumped out of bed and grabbed for something to beat off whatever the noise was that had interrupted our peaceful slumber.
It only took about thirty seconds for us to figure out what was going on but it felt like an eternity. She was holding a fly swatter and I had picked up a cardboard tube that one of her paintings was in. We looked at each other and then we started laughing. Then we got back in bed and both fell asleep to the sound of the train going off in the distance.
The next day we unpacked and laughed some more about the train that night, thinking it was probably just a one time thing. It wasn’t. Every single night at close to three in the morning the train whistle would screech through our room, waking us up every night.
The train whistle wasn’t the reason that she left, but she isn’t here anymore. We never had any children and she never planted that garden. None of the furniture is the same and I’m still driving the same four door sedan that I’ve had for the past six years. The train doesn’t come by anymore, but I still wake up every morning, for just a minute or two, at three in the morning.
Anakalian Whims 
