Bourbon

September 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm (Guest Blogger) (, , , )

The Latest Short Story from E.B. Jones

The sun had just come up and started bleeding through the window and
into the largest bedroom of the little single-wide trailer. Specks of
dust danced in the rays of sunlight until they reached his eyes and
woke him up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, sending the dust
scattering in all different directions. What time was it? Seven
o’clock. The entire day was free, no work. Tomorrow as well. The floor
was cold as he stepped onto it and he quickly pulled his feet up then
slowly lowered them back down, hovering his feet just above the floor
until they found his house shoes. He turned around and saw that his
wife wasn’t in bed, she must have been in the other room feeding the
baby.
The bathroom door creaked as he closed it, he didn’t bother locking
it. The faucet on the sink ran steaming water while he lathered his
face with shaving cream. He ran his razor slowly across his cheeks,
chin, jaw, and lastly, just above his upper lip. After each stroke he
dipped the razor under the running water, sending small specks of hair
and foam sliding down the drain. The mirror steamed up before he
finished and the towel he rubbed across to get the fog off left
streaks. His wife hated whenever he did that because it meant that she
would have to spray the mirror down with window cleaner and wipe it
down again. He didn’t care that it bothered her, not anymore.
The shower knob creaked a bit when he turned it on and the cold water
splashed against his hand. When the water started to get warmer he
went back to the streaky mirror and saw himself. Twenty-eight years
old, living in a broken-down trailer in a nowhere town in southern
Alabama. His gut had gotten bigger in year since he got married and
his face had filled out. He didn’t like it. If it weren’t for him
working so many hours at the sawmill he probably would be even fatter,
but the exercise he got at work helped keep a lot of the weight off.
When the room started getting warmer, he stepped into the shower and
started to wash himself off. The extra hair that had stayed stuck to
his face and a bit of foam around his right earlobe were the first to
get rinsed off. The dirt, grease and sawdust didn’t wash off until he
lathered up with soap and scrubbed with a washcloth. After about ten
minutes he turned the shower off and grabbed the towel that was
hanging on the rack to dry himself.
He came out of the bathroom and went to the dresser and pulled at it’s
top drawer. It was stuck and took a bit to get open—it had been giving
him trouble for awhile—but he hadn’t had time to fix it because of all
the extra hours he had been putting in at work. He started buttoning
up his shirt as he walked towards the babies room. His wife was
breast-feeding when he walked in.
“Button your god damn shirt up,” she snapped at him. “The baby’s fine.
Now go make some damn breakfast. Not like you’d be any help here
anyway.” The last part she mumbled under hear breath but he still
heard it.
The coffee he made in the kitchen was too hot to drink so he set it on
the counter and went to the refrigerator to grab some eggs and bacon.
They were out of bacon.
“Honey, we’re out of bacon,” he yelled down the hall.
“I told you to pick some up along with the milk yesterday. Did you
forget?” she yelled back.
“I don’t remember you asking me to get anything. I didn’t go to the
market,” he yelled into the refrigerator.
“What? I can’t hear you,” she said. The baby started crying.
He turned towards the hallway again. “I said I didn’t go to the market
yesterday.”
“God dammit, can’t you do anything right?” she yelled back at him. “I
told you we needed milk and bacon yesterday before you left for work.
You were supposed to get it on your way home.” She let out a loud huff
and then mumbled, “worthless son of a bitch.” He didn’t hear the last
part.
The baby stopped crying just before the toast popped up. She walked
into the dining room with the baby and sat down.
“Ain’t you got it ready yet?” she groaned.
“Dammit woman, this ain’t McDonald’s. I can’t just magically go
‘poof” and have your damn breakfast ready in an instant,” he shot
back.
“I don’t care. Just give it to me,” She sighed, looking away from him.
He set the plates down in their places at the table and sat down.
“And what am I supposed to drink?”
He stood up from the table without saying a word and grabbed a glass
and a jug of orange juice and slammed it onto the table in front of
her.
“You burnt the toast,” she said between chews.
He didn’t respond.
The toast was still on her plate whenever she got up and took the baby
into the other room to watch cartoons.
He propped his hand up against his forehead and let the weight of his
head rest on his hand. His forehead was hot to the touch and for a
moment he thought he might be getting sick.
Was this really his life? Had she always been such a bitch? No, she
hadn’t—when did it all start? After the baby was born and she started
going out with her friends again.
It had been about six months ago. He came home from work and she
shoved the baby into his hands told him that she was going out with
her friends. He protested that he had been at work all day and was
tired, but she insisted, stating that she had been cooped up for a
year since he knocked her up, not allowed to have any fun and she was
going to go out and have fun with her friends. She was sick of seeing
his kid and besides, he needed to spend some time with their baby
anyway.
He was angry at her blatant disregard for his feelings. He started
yelling that even though he hadn’t been cooped up like she had, he
spent most of his time at his job and he didn’t get to go out and have
any fun either. He spent all his time working six of seven days a week
with overtime so they would be able to have a house and food and pay
the bills.
She walked out in the middle of his rant and got into a car and drove
off. There he was standing with a baby he hardly ever saw and had no
idea what to do with.
The first night this happened he started the evening by turning on the
television and watching re-runs of Star Trek. The baby was lying in
the crib and he was sitting in the recliner with a beer and a roast
beef sandwich. About fifteen minutes into the show, right before the
red shirt died, the baby started crying. “What now?” he said out loud.
He went to the crib and picked the baby up but it continued to cry. He
took it into the kitchen and sat it on the counter, then peeled a
banana. The baby stared at the banana that was in its face for a short
second and then proceeded to cry again. That’s whenever the man
noticed the terrible smell that was coming from the baby. He laid it
down on the dinner table and undid its diaper to check if the baby had
used it or not. It had.
The baby was slippery in his hands as he washed it in the kitchen sink
with Palmolive and a dishcloth. After the baby was dried off he set it
on the ground and started looking for a diaper. It seemed as if the
smelly shit diaper he had just taken off the baby was the last one so
he let the baby crawl around naked while he went back to his beer and
television.
After about 4 more beers the baby had fallen asleep so he took it to
the crib and laid it down, then started thinking about his situation.
The clock told him that it was just after ten so he went to the curio
in the living room and poured himself a glass of bourbon. He needed
more than just beer at this point. While he stood there sipping on the
bourbon and pondering his life, he noticed a few pictures of his wife
and himself looking back at him. They were smiling. They both smiled
those days. He couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled, or the
last time he saw her smile. The pictures were mocking him. Mocking him
because of what he used to have and what he had become. He turned them
face down so their laughter would at least be muffled. With the bottle
of bourbon in one hand and his glass in the other he went and sat on
the front porch and lit a cigarette. A million thoughts raced through
his head as he sat there and drank and smoked.
Before he knew it a car pulled up and he saw his wife get out. She was
smiling and laughing like in the pictures. He started to smile as he
watched her, but her smile turned to something of a scowl as soon as
she made eye contact with him. “Get the hell out of my way,” she said.
“Have you been sitting out here on your no-good ass drinking all
night?”
He didn’t respond. She walked in mumbling about how he was a worthless
sack of shit and that she deserved better than him. She yelled at him
not to wake her up whenever he came to bed.
This had been going on about once a week for six months now. She
always somehow timed her nights out to be the nights before his one
day a week off so he was unable to go out himself and had to stay in
and watch the baby. She always did this because she knew she would
want to sleep in after she went out and didn’t want him to wake her up
early while he was getting ready for work. Most mornings the baby
would start crying while he was getting ready and she would tell him
to give it some of the formula she had made in the kitchen, and he
would have to skip his own breakfast so he wasn’t late to work.
The baby laughed in the other room and snapped him back to reality. He
stood up and picked the dishes up off the table and put them in the
sink, then refilled his coffee cup.
He didn’t want to deal with talking to her so he quietly slipped out
the door. His truck’s brakes had been squeaking so he figured he
should check them out. Besides, it was a good excuse not to be in the
house with her.
As soon as he stepped out the door he heard a dog bark and looked over
in the direction the noise came from. It was his dog Mary Bell, an old
Basset hound he had since he was twenty-one. His high school
sweetheart had given Mary Bell to him as a Christmas present. She
broke up with him that January and started dating some businessman
from Atlanta. He was going to ask her to marry him on Valentine’s day
about a month later but he never got the chance.
He liked Mary Bell because she had been there any time he needed
someone to talk to, and with the way his wife had been acting since
the baby was born, he needed someone to talk to often. She always
agreed with him—either a loud bark proclaiming that he was correct or
a sympathetic groan to confirm that he had in fact just made a very
bad decision.
He unlatched the dog chain and Mary Bell waddled over to him. “Hey
girl, how are you?” The dog licked his face and he laughed. “How about
you and me fix them brakes, huh?”
Mary Bell barked in agreement and started walking towards the tool
shed with her master just behind her. It was an old broken down shed
that had been there longer than the man had even been alive. The paint
was peeling and one of the walls had taken dry rot and was on the
verge of collapsing.
“I out to just knock this old thing down and get one of them metal
sheds they sell on the T.V.,” the man told Mary Bell. She barked in
agreement.
“Now let’s see,” the man said to the dog. “We’ll need a jack, a tire
bar, and some brake fluid.” He shuffled through the toolboxes and
drawers and shelves. “Now I know it’s here somewhere. You didn’t steal
it off, did you Mary Bell?” He looked at the dog and laughed. Mary
Bell just groaned. Whenever he found what he needed they both walked
together back to the truck.
The truck was a 1963 Chevrolet C-10 and had been his pride and joy
since his dad bought it for him when he graduated high school. It was
the truck he had spent most of his youth in, but it was older now and
starting to show signs of its age. One of the back fenders had started
to rust and the paint had just started peeling off the hood. The
interior was mostly good, except for the floor board from years of his
boot heel digging into it while switching from the gas to the bake. He
tried as hard as he could to keep it in pristine condition like he had
been able to whenever he was younger, but the money for it just wasn’t
there anymore.
He slid the jack underneath the front driver’s side tire and found a
good spot. The truck moaned as he started to lift it off of the
ground. The lug nuts broke with a screech and he put them in a pile
next to him and then pulled the wheel off of the hub and laid it on
the ground behind him. He took a moment to smile at Mary Bell and then
he inspected the brakes.
“Well, this one looks good,” he told Mary Bell.
It didn’t take him as long to put the tire back on as it did to take
it off. While he was unscrewing the lug nuts on the passenger side
tire, his wife came outside with the baby.
“I’m going to town and getting the bacon and milk your dumb ass forgot.”
He just grunted.
“You need anything?” she yelled.
“No,” he yelled back.
“You know you probably just outta sell that piece of shit. Don’t work
no how and we could always use the money.”
“Don’t think so, darlin’.”
“Jackass,” she said, quietly enough for him not to hear her.
He didn’t look up as she walked to the car. She sat the baby down in
the back seat in its baby chair and made sure that all the belts and
straps were tight and secure on the seat and then made sure all the
belts and straps were tight on the baby. She then got herself into the
car and backed out of the driveway and drove away from the house and
towards town.
“Well, thank god!” he told his dog. “She’ll be gone at least an hour.”
They lived about twenty minutes outside of town in a very secluded
area on a plot of land that his uncle had gifted to him from his death
bed. The closest neighbors were half a mile away. He liked the
seclusion and quiet, but his wife hated it. She was much more for the
city and refined things. Dinner parties and nights out dancing were
more her flavor.
The passenger side brake was in fine working order as well, so he put
the wheel back on and then lowered the truck back to the ground.
“No sense in wasting an opportune time to take a break while she isn’t around.”
Mary Bell barked and they both walked into the house.
The pictures were staring at him again but he didn’t bother turning
them face down right now. Besides, she would be back soon and would
raise all hell asking him why all the pictures had been knocked down
and he had no desire to deal with any of that.
A pink spine at the bottom of the bookcase caught his eye so he walked
over and pulled it out to see what it was. The cover of it was a
picture frame that showed him in a tuxedo and his wife in a white
dress. It was surrounded by red roses embroidered around the edges and
read “Wedding Memories – 1978” at the bottom.
They had wed on April 15, 1978, just a few months after his now-wife
had discovered that she was pregnant. They hadn’t told anyone that she
was until after that had married, fearing the fallout they would end
up suffering from the mostly Christian community that they lived in.
Most of the community would go out to the bars on weekends and either
get sloshed drunk or smoke marijuana. In fact, most of the unmarried
singles even slept around quite a bit, but they were able to keep that
all a secret. Then come Sunday morning, they would appear in church in
their Sunday finest and even though everyone knew who had done what
and with who, everyone kept their mouths shut about the night before.
A pregnancy, however, wouldn’t be easily hidden on Sunday morning and
would become a permanent exposure of their sin against God’s law. So
the man and his girlfriend decided to do what any God-fearing couple
would do—get married so as not to have a bastard child and anger God,
or at least the local community.
The wedding was small and simple, just their closest friends and
family at the local one-room church downtown. Whenever she entered the
room, his best man, who was also his best friend, leaned over and
whispered something about how she was hot and he would hit it if they
ever split up. The man just punched him the arm and laughed while he
to told him to shut up.
He was smiling the whole time she walked down the aisle. He had
realized in that moment that he was actually happy that they had
accidentally conceived a child and were getting married. He could get
a job at the sawmill and save up some money over a few years. Then
after that, they could move to Texas and he could work on an oil rig,
make a good living and they would live happily ever after, just like
all the stories he’d read in school.
Whenever she made it to the alter she looked at him and smiled and
thought something very similar to his own thoughts.
They said their vows to each other and to the crowd of their friends
and family watching. After he told her “until death do us part,” he
lifted her veil. They looked into each others’ eyes and smiled, and as
his lips pressed into hers, everything that was wrong in the world and
any problem that he had ever had was suddenly gone. It was the most
completely perfect moment he had ever experienced.
The reception was held at the local bar. Most of the groomsmen were
getting drunk and flirting with the bridesmaids, trying their best to
get lucky with whatever girl they could. She had grown up in a town
about thirty minutes away from him, so none of his friends really knew
any of her friends, and in their minds that meant fresh meat.
The crowd had a multitude of conversations going on that differed
quite substantially but were all about the same subject—the marriage.
Some seemed to think that they were a lovely couple and would live a
long and happy life together. Others only gave the marriage a few
months, or maybe a year at the most. Neither the bride nor the groom
heard any of these conversations; they were too busy dancing together.
That day, nothing else mattered or even existed to them.
He heard a car door shut outside and he quickly closed the photo album
and shoved it back into the book case. His wife kicked open the door
holding grocery bags in one hand and the baby in the other. He was
still thinking about the day they were married and started to smile.
“Well, are you gonna help me or just stand there and look dumb? And
why is that damn dog in the house?”
His smile faded and he looked down. “Yeah, sure. Come on, Mary Bell.”
He went out to the car to get the rest of the bags. There was one
left, with bacon and milk in it.
After he brought the bag in, he went back outside to check the rear brakes.
She made herself lunch and sat down and ate. Neither of them wanted to
be in the same room at the moment. He was happy to be outside working
on his truck and she was happy to be inside eating her lunch away from
this bastard of a man that had knocked her up and forced her to give
up her youth.
The back passenger tire was off whenever she opened the door and
walked out to him.
“Got it fixed yet?”
“Nope.”
“Well, whatever.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “I’m going
out tonight. The baby’s asleep in its room so I’m going to go take a
bath. If you need anything don’t bother me.”
“Fine.”
She walked back into the house and went into the bathroom and started
filling the tub up with water.
The rear passenger side brake had nothing wrong with it either. There
was really nothing wrong with the truck at all and he knew it. He
simply told her that there was so he would have an excuse not to be
around her on his day off. It also kept his mind off of how things had
gotten between the two of them. He wanted so badly to blame that
little baby asleep in its crib, but anytime he looked at it, he knew
he could never blame it for any of their problems. They were their
problems and theirs alone.
He was about to put the rear drivers’ side tire back on when he heard
thunder off in the distance. A storm was rolling in and he saw the
clouds rushing towards the house with lightning forking down into the
woods. It started to sprinkle a bit as he stared straight up at the
sky for a minute. Then he looked back to the storm in the distance.
“Git, dog,” he told Mary Bell quietly. She waddled back into her
doghouse and laid down with a slight whimper. Dust blew up into the
air around her mouth as she sighed.
He walked up to the front door and opened it with his left hand, still
holding the tire bar in his right hand.
He went into the living room and poured himself a glass of bourbon.
The pictures were mocking him again. He took the tire bar and flipped
them over with the bent side of it one at a time until all of the
pictures in the living room were face down.
He slowly made his way into the bedroom and used the tire bar to flip
the rest of the pictures down. He finished off the glass of bourbon
and let it drop to the floor. Inside the bathroom the shower curtain
was closed.
The tire bar made a shadow as it moved across the shower curtain and
then slowly, it moved the curtain across the rod, exposing the tub to
the rest of the room.
She was lying there naked and had fallen asleep and he wondered if she
had always looked that way. She couldn’t have, could she? Where did
those disgusting stretch marks or that extra flab come from? She was a
tiny girl when they first met, just over a hundred pounds. He wanted
it to be that damn baby. Since the baby she had become something else,
someone else. It wasn’t just her physical shape that was noticeable
either—that was just the most obvious. The harder he tried to blame
the baby the more he knew it wasn’t it’s fault at all. It was her
fault, or his.
They had first met in 1977 when she had just graduated high school.
She was eighteen and he was twenty-five. He hadn’t really been
interested in any women since his former fiance had run off to Atlanta
with the businessman. His friends had started noticing that he didn’t
seem very happy with his life and wasn’t really the same guy that he
used to be. They all talked it over and decided that one of them would
invite their cousin to the next Sunday church luncheon and there, they
would introduce the two of them.
It was something like love at first sight. She was a petite little
woman with curly red hair, pale skin and eyes as green as a pasture
after an April rain. He had dark brown hair, an immaculate jaw line
and a slim but muscular frame with the most beautiful hands she had
ever seen. They spent the entire afternoon talking to each other about
their hopes, dreams, past experiences and anything and everything
else. They exchanged phone numbers and said goodbye, but as soon as
she got home she called him. He answered before the first ring was
finished. They stayed up talking until three a.m. If she hadn’t fallen
asleep listening excitedly to his plan to move to Texas and get a job
on an oil rig and become a big-shot rough neck, eventually working his
way up to owning his own oil company, they probably would have been up
all night talking.
Over the next several months they continued to spend all of their free
time together. Whenever they weren’t together they were on the phone
talking, and when they weren’t on the phone talking, they were
thinking about each other. Most of her girlfriends told her that she
was the luckiest girl ever to land such an amazing guy and most of his
friends told him that he was a lucky son-of-a-bitch to land such a hot
little fox.
It was in a cold February evening whenever she approached him and told
him that they needed to talk. He could tell something was very wrong.
“What’s up, darling?” he asked.
“Well, I’m not sure how to say this really.”
“Well, girl, just spit it out! It’s getting kind of late and you know
I ain’t the partying type,” he said with a smirk.
“This is serious. I just, well, you see… I mean… the thing is…”
she looked at him and tears started to well up in her eyes.
“What is it, baby? You know you can tell me anything.” His face became
more concerned now that he knew it was a very serious matter.
She looked at him and waited until the tears slid down her cheek. “I’m
pregnant.”
He sat and looked at her in disbelief. His body didn’t move an inch
but his mind was moving faster than it ever had before. He thought
about abortion, he thought about names, he thought about schools, he
thought about adoption, he thought about how to set the spare room up
as a nursery. Finally, after about three minutes and the longest
silence either of them had ever encountered, he stood up and walked to
the bedroom door. “Well,” he said rubbing his chin.
He turned around and looked at her and then got down on one knee.
After a few false starts he was finally able to ask her. “Baby, will
you marry me?”
“What?” she said.
“No, I mean, I love you so it makes sense that we should… you know.
And you know if we have a baby and we ain’t married ain’t no one in
town gonna talk to us or anything. You know how these folks are. So
come on, baby, let’s just jump right in. Both feet.”
“Well,” she said, tears still rolling down her cheeks.
The silence that followed was even longer than the moment before.
“Yes!” she exclaimed with a huge smile. They told each other that they
loved each other more than words could express.
Now they were here, he thought while looking down at her, laying there
in the bathtub and slowly in his mind she started to change back into
that beautiful girl that he met that Sunday afternoon and he started
to smile.
Suddenly she twitched and was again the stranger that had invaded his
home and his life and taken the one person he loved.
Without thinking, his right arm rose above his head and sliced down
through the air. The tire bar smashed against her neck, tearing a hole
through the skin all the way to the wind pipe and vocal chords. Her
eyes became wide and she sat up. Her arms and legs flailed in the tub
as she opened her mouth and tried to scream, but only gasps of air
mixed with blood came from the hole in the left side of her neck. His
eyes went wild with rage and he brought the tire bar down again, this
time crushing her jaw and knocking several of her teeth out into the
water she was trapped in.
Tears slid down from her eyes and mixed with blood, flowing down her
face to her neck and down her breasts and into the bath water, turning
it to a light crimson. He continued to beat her and she continued to
flail, unable to gain any traction on the slippery sides of the tub.
The blood stung her eyes and she was unable to see anything.
He swung wildly, sometimes hitting her, sometimes just putting holes
in the porcelain walls on the sides of the tub. Blood splashed from
her face and neck and chest and landed on the curtain and the floor
and across his face and body.
She had been laying motionless for some time before he finally stopped
swinging. The room smelled of fresh blood and a crack left in the bath
tub was slowly leaking the crimson bathwater onto the floor of the
trailer.
He dropped the tire bar and walked back into the living room. His
footsteps squished and left light, wet, pink marks on the carpet.
He picked up the bottle of bourbon, smearing blood across the label,
and he pressed his lips against the opening and tipped the bottle
upwards.
When the bottle was empty he went to the bookcase and pulled the
wedding album out. The red on his fingers smudged the three pages he
turned before he found the image of the two of them in that wedding
kiss, forever burned into history by film and chemicals. He took the
picture out of the album and went back into the bathroom.
Her body was cold to the touch and the floor was now a half-inch deep
with bloody water. The tire bar was still next to the tub. He grabbed
it and went outside, leaving a trail of watery blood wherever he
walked. As he stood on the front porch it started to rain. He looked
up at the sky and smiled.
“Come on, Mary Bell,” he said. “We’re going to Texas.”
The door of the truck creaked as he opened it and he slid the blood
smudged picture into the dashboard next to the speedometer. The rain
came down in force as he put the back tire back on, washing most of
the blood off him. He was soaked by the time he got in and started the
truck up. Mary Bell was already inside, sitting next to him.
“Her friends will be by soon to pick her up,” he said, patting Mary
Bell’s head. “They’ll take care of the kid.” Mary Bell groaned in
response.
He started the truck and backed out of the driveway then put the truck
into gear and drove west.
The drive was mostly just forest and cigarettes and he was able to
make it to the Mississippi border before he decided to stop and get a
motel room for the night.
The room was small. There was a bed and a small nightstand next to it.
Across from it was a dresser with a black-and-white television and an
ash tray. Next to the window there was a small table and a chair. He
walked over to the window and opened it. A cool breeze hit him and he
smiled.
“Get off the bed, Mary Bell. That’s where I’m sleeping,” he said as he
pulled a cigarette out of his shirt pocket. “It’s gonna be a new day
for the both of us, I guarantee you that, girl.”
He sat in the chair and lit the cigarette. His mind raced with
thoughts of oil and money and women and fast cars. As soon as he got
to Texas, everything would come together for him.
He put his cigarette out in the ash tray and laid down on the bed next
to Mary Bell. “I ‘spose you can stay up here if you want. It’s a
pretty big bed.”
Mary Bell groaned and laid her head next to his shoulder and fell asleep.

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September 16, 2012 at 3:33 pm (Uncategorized)

I love interviews and this is a great one!

Karleen Koen's avatarKarleen Koen — writing life

What I have learned after 4 novels: not to think about process when I write, to be as unselfconscious about writing as I can be because  that makes my writing more free and authenic and allows surprising things to happen. However, I do like to answer intelligent questions about process once I’ve finished. This is for the blog BooksIDoneRead. (I’m on a blog tour at the moment, which means I do guest posts for blogs that cover reading and/or historical fiction.)

1.)   Well-researched Historical Fiction, such as yours, is a treat to readers who love to time-travel to luscious landscapes, seeing through the eyes of historical personages such as Louis XIV. Why do you think Historical Fiction plays an important role in connecting readers with the past as well as helping them understand our world today?

Historical fiction is just more fun to read than history, unless the historican…

View original post 1,087 more words

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The Importance of a Book Signing

September 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm (Events) (, , , , , , )

Some people will tell you that book signings are old-fashioned, a thing slowly creeping into the world of publishing past.  As both a reader and an event coordinator, I have strongly say that it is not.

As an event coordinator, I’ll tell you that yes, they can be slow.  People don’t stop as often as they maybe used to.  If it’s an author they are unfamiliar with they have a tendency to be stand offish, uncaring, or nervous.  Fix this by offering candy or baked goods, or even a few free books, and you’ve sealed the deal.  Like a sales person, all you have to do is get them up to the table.  Your merchandise, a friendly face, and their sheer curiosity will do the rest.  As an event coordinator I will tell you that you shouldn’t worry if not very many people buy your book that day, that’s not entirely the point of a book signing.  The point of a book signing is to get your face, your name, your book titles and book covers lodged in their brain, constantly tickling the edges of their frontal lobes.  Every time they see your work, for years to come, they will say in their head: I met him/her, I should buy this.  In this day of e-books, many wont buy from you in a brick and mortar store, but will rush home and purchase a kindle edition.

As a reader with severe extrovert tendencies, I will tell you that it is incredibly exciting.  Meeting an author, whether you love everything they’ve ever done, or just barely opened the first page of a book, or have never heard of them – to me – is so very exciting.  I want to hear their voice and the way they talk, let their real voice intertwine a bit with the inner one I’ve imagined in my head.  I want to know a few factoids, a few mannerisms, put their work in a greater perspective.  Yesterday, when I met Karleen Koen for the first time, I just wanted to bask in her author-ness, in her bookishness.  Of course, I ended up chattering hopelessly because that’s what I do, but my oh my how awesome it was to hang out and listen.  It made me want to get home afterward as quickly as possible and finish reading the book that I had meant to finish before the signing.  It made me want to buy the other books she has written, and all I can think about this morning is that there is a signed copy of Now Face to Face in hardback sitting on the shelf at the store… and how it needs to be mine.

My goal is to bring more book signings to Half Price Books Humble and one day maybe be as event filled as Murder By the Book in Houston.  Book signings are not dead and they should never be dead.  If you are an author interested in setting up a book signing, email me at andiklemm@rocketmail.com.

 

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Happy Birthday Half Price Books Humble!

September 16, 2012 at 1:09 am (Events) (, , , , , , , , , )

Today was so much fun for me – a Mommy’s Day Out if you will – spent at Half Price Books in Humble celebrating the 10th year of business. (The whole company’s 40 year anniversary was earlier this year.)  Much of my day was spent handing helium balloons to children as they passed by, another solid bit was giving away free stuff over the intercom, and the rest was hanging out with really awesome people and eating Barbecue (Dickey’s Barbecue Pit moved in down the sidewalk and their food is heaven! They donated sample trays for our patrons as well as gift cards to raffle off.)

Delaney Rhodes and customers enjoying a chat.

Karleen Koen and Delaney Rhodes are both delightful people and I truly enjoy chatting with them.  Delaney has been with us before, and kicked our morning off with a bang giving away 30 copies of the second book in her series.  She was at the store earlier this year with her first book and is such a personable author, with a bright cheerful smile for everyone.  Plus, she gives out chocolate.  No one can pass up a good candy bowl.

Karleen Koen is a best-selling historical fiction author and was also so much fun! I love talking with people so much, and Karleen is so full of ideas and charm.  She gave me a few awesome ideas for future events that I plan to fully implement come Spring – so keep checking in! And a few book recommendations that I can’t wait to look into.  One was Alice Hoffman, apparently one of her favorite writers, Karleen’s whole face lit up when she talked about the book Turtle Moon.

Karleen holding up the “readers” she had to borrow because she left hers at home!

She is also a big fan of the children’s author Rosemary Wells and told me all about the Bunny Cakes series, which of course I now have to go get for the kiddo!  At the end she was kind enough to sign not just my books, but she signed copies of all the used books we had in stock today.  So even if you missed the signing, you might be able to find a surprise signed copy in the fiction section if you go now.

My apologies for any fuzziness in the photos. I have arthritis in my right hand and it shakes when I hit buttons.

Don’t forget Banned Books Week is coming up! http://www.ala.org/advocacy/banned/bannedbooksweek

Also, if you are an author looking to do a book signing, please email me at andiklemm@rocketmail.com.

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Weekly Low Down on Kids Books – and other things

September 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm (Education, Events, Reviews) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Title: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

Authors: William Joyce and Joe Bluhm

With great reluctance, I turned this book back into the library yesterday on our way to the Miller Outdoor Theatre to see a live *free* production of Cinderella.  Cinderella actually has no relevance to this story/review, I just wanted to throw that in there because the whole adventure was pretty awesome, we even rode a train.

“Morris Lessmore loved words.

He loved stories.

He loved books.

But every story has its upsets.”

But not every story is so beautifully written and illustrated.  For the last two weeks, kiddo has been getting a daily dose of Mr. Lessmore, not just because I thought it was so fantastic, but because she thought it was pretty awesome too.  Flying books!? It doesn’t get much better for that for a kid.

Shamefully, I have to admit that if I hadn’t read this book to my daughter, she may have forever missed out on Humpty Dumpty – merely because I am so busy sharing books with her that I often forget the nursery rhymes.  Yet, Humpty Dumpty is alive and well in Mr. Lessmore’s world, so thankfully, that is one she will not miss out on.

Mr. Morris Lessmore is also a good way to introduce a small child to the issues of aging, life, and death.  It’s a beautiful story of a man’s life with books, and like all men do, he grows old and passes.  Presented with a combination of calm serenity and passion, this story kept in a child’s library could be a little piece of fantasy and reality which their subconscious can cling to forever.

Part way through the very excellent play that I did not want to disrupt, kiddo got the urge to run. Cinderella still going strong in the distance.

Now, I am aware that I teased you a bit with that Cinderella business, so I suppose I cannot leave you hanging.  This falls a bit under the When We’re Not Reading parts of my blog, but still encourages literacy and the arts.  A.D. Players did a William Glennon play at the Miller Outdoor Theatre in Hermann Park yesterday morning.  The weather was perfect as it kept teasing us with rain, but never did.  The breeze was blowing, and there are so many things to do around the park that if/when your kiddos get antsy, its easy to take them for a walk or train ride.

To give you a full idea of how awesome these productions are, however, I am going to simply share with you a blurb from the program:

Founded in 1967 by Jeannette Clift George, A.D. Players pioneered a unique style of theater committed to producing plays and programs that uphold human value, offer creativity, and promote literacy and education.  The company is one of Houston’s largest resident theater companies, impacting more than nine million people.  Annually, the company produces five Mainstage shows and four Children’s Theater shows, and maintains a year-round Theater Arts Academy.

We share our mission with volunteers, community associates, and those who make our work possible through their support.  For additional information, visit www.adplayers.org or call 713-526-2721.

Pretty neat, right?

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Emma, my introduction to the Viking era

September 12, 2012 at 9:36 pm (Education, Reviews, Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Title: Emma: The Twice-Crowned Queen, England in the Viking Age

Author: Isabella Strachan

Publisher: Peter Owen Publishers

Length: 192 pgs.

First of all, let me premise this by informing you that like the Catherines/Katherines of Henry VIII’s time, the name Elgiva/Emma runs rampant during the Viking age of England.  For instance, the subject of this biography was born Emma but the English chose to call her by the Latin equivalent: Elgiva.  Emma was the second wife of the widowed Ethelred, whose first wife’s name was Elgiva.  When Ethelred (king of England under the Saxons) dies and his land then conquered by the Danes (while King Swegn ruled), a Dane named Canute (Cnut) came to power.  Emma becomes his wife as well, but guess what? He already has a ‘wife’ named… any takers? anyone? anyone? Yep, Elgiva.  This makes for some interesting reading, but Strachan eases the issue by always referring to Emma as only Emma and providing a handy-dandy cast list in the front of the book.

When I first heard of Emma, I expected a woman who was cunning and manipulative.  Someone with political the intrigue of a Cleopatra or Elizabeth I.  I thought I’d be reading about a woman with a deep political agenda, always out-playing others in a real-life chess match.  Instead I found a woman who seems to me to have been more adaptive, reactive, a survivor constantly caught between a rock and a hard place.  The Twice-Crowned Queen is less of a political master mind and more of a drowning victim always bobbing up to the surface of the water just moments before death.

She was young when she became the bargaining chip in an arranged marriage to King Ethelred.  It was a political ploy of others that ensured the Normans and Vikings were kept at bay during a time of imminent war, as both her father and half-brother were Dukes of Normandy with close, friendly ties to the Vikings.  After Ethelred dies and England taken over by the Danes, Canute is chosen to be the new King.  The problem with this arrangement is that the Church and Cabinet wanted Emma to remain the Queen.  It remained good political sense, but Canute already had a wife.  Canute had a handfast wife, referred to as Elgiva of Northampton.  From what I gather from Strachan, a handfast wife was the Medieval equivalent of a ‘Common-law wife.’  Handfast wives had all the political and societal rights of a true spouse, but were not recognized by the church.  Later William the Conqueror’s own mother would turn out to be a Handfast Wife, which was why he was a Duke of Normandy but still got called William the Bastard.

Either way, there was a lot of drama surrounding Emma’s marriage to Canute.  He seems to have been completely in love with Elgiva of Northampton and despite promising that Emma would be his only Queen and her children heir to the throne, Elgiva was the only one granted regency rights over her own lands and it was her son Harold that took the throne upon Canute’s death.  Emma was again just a political pawn to keep the peace, and in keeping the peace was forced to send her own children (from Ethelred) away to grow up abandoned by their mother while fighting tooth and nail to keep her children by Canute in the running for the throne.  There is a poem called Samiramis that I’d like to get my hands on, written by the Normans of the time, that tells their account of the entire incident.

What I initially saw as an intense woman ensuring each of her children had a chance to rule (as her son Harthacnut from Canute and her oldest son Edward from Ethelred both eventually become King, while her daughter was the Queen of Germany), after the biography I feel that most of this was just chance and circumstance.  Harthacnut was indeed fought for to be King, but his half-brother Edward the Confessor became King despite his mother.  Edward actually stripped Emma of all her political rights as soon as he gained the throne.  One of the clenchers for me having been interested in studying her was that she was William the Conqueror’s great-aunt, but he did not seem to have much of a tie to her, he merely showed a bit of respect for his cousins.

I am glad I read the book.  Although I am disillusioned about her character, I think she’s still mighty impressive and wonder why she was left out of my education.  Reading this biography made me intensely interested in reading additional history on William the Conqueror and his mother Arlette (Herleva).  Lady Godiva also makes a cameo appearance, which piqued my interest as well as a man named Olaf Haraldsson.  As I always say, the more you read, the more you discover you need to read.

This book would make a great addition to a well-read 11-12 year old’s Medieval history curriculum.  It is short, sweet, and informative of not just Emma but a huge piece of history that made the English monarchy what it later became.  And I loved it.

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The Bookaholics’ Guide to Book Blogs

September 10, 2012 at 7:53 pm (Reviews) (, , , , , , , )

Title: The Bookaholics’ Guide to Book Blogs

Compiled by: Rebecca Gillieron & Catheryn Kilgarriff

Publisher: Marion Boyars Publishers

Length: 254 pgs.

I promised a review of this lovely book, and here it is; and trust me: the redundancy of a blogged book review of a book about book reviewing blogs is not lost on me.  I suppose it goes without saying that I loved it.  I love the front cover, I love the blogging snippets, I love the things Rebecca and Catheryn had to say (and yes, I am speaking of them with first name familiarity because I’m taking the liberties of pretending to know them after reading about their likes and dislikes regarding my favorite corner of the world: blogs and books and book blogs).

Catheryn Kilgarriff is the publisher at Marion Boyars Publishers and Rebecca Gillieron is the Senior Editor.  This particular publishing company sounds relatively small, by their own descriptions, and cozy, and wonderful, and British.  Of course, I am now obsessed and plan to purchase anything and everything I see published by Marion Boyars when shopping at brick and mortar stores.  I also have dreams of one day being published by them, even though I live in Texas and the logistics of it may seem ridiculous.  Simply, they made me fall in love with their little office and want to live and breathe everything that they live and breathe.  Coincidentally, I already followed many of the blogs mentioned in the book, but the ones I didn’t already receive emails from on a weekly basis I hunted down so I can in the future.

Having been printed in 2007 and being about the internet world and e-books, it’s a little more than a bit outdated, but still completely worth the read.  The book is not so outdated to feel foreign, just outdated enough to say, ‘Yeah, that doesn’t work any more’ or ‘That’s not quite a true statement these days.’ When those phrases pop up in my mind, though, they surprise me because it’s just barely on the verge of being old news, like their whole chapter on the future of e-books.  I kept thinking, ‘Wow, I remember thinking that several years ago, but…’ the future is here, my friends, the future is here.

I think its wonderful how true Rebecca and Catheryn are to the things they like and appreciate.  For example, the cover art for their book is actually from a blog they discuss in great detail and length called  Dovegreyreader.  The very end of the book even includes all the links for their favorite mentionables.

My favorite quote:

“For book reviews pages are not read simply for pleasure, they do not serve only to sway the purchasing power of the reader towards a particular author or trend.  They are – in an ideal world at least – essential tools of cultural dialogue which stimulate informed debate, encourage new writing and shape the literary world.”

I read that, immediately unlined it, and nearly shouted: Yes, oh yes!

If you write a blog, read blogs, or love books or any kind of literary criticism, you should give this title a go.

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When We’re Not Reading – Fall Begins

September 8, 2012 at 10:51 pm (Education, Events) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Thursdays at the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston is free. I love taking the kiddo to see the ever-changing exhibits there, and this time we spent a lot of time watching the six-minute long digitally animated Tree changing through the seasons and blowing in the imaginary wind.  The exhibit is called “Mike Kelley” and was made by artist Jennifer Steinkamp. It is absolutely lovely, and I highly recommend taking time out of your busy schedule to go sit and experience its luminous, fake leaves.

Another fantastic and *free* thing to do in Houston when the weather is nice is to visit Sam Houston Park/ Heritage Square.  The real life trees you can see are simple amazing, fun to romp and climb, and just a wonderful place to have an outdoor picnic.  You can also go visit the Heritage Society Museum for no charge, the entrance is in the courtyard.  We didn’t stay long, however, because kiddo nearly killed a display and cost the city some priceless treasures.  We’ll try that museum when she’s a bit older.

I grew up visiting Sam Houston Park during the Christmas season, when the Heritage Society houses are lit and apple cider, coffee, and hot cocoa is served in the courtyard.  Choirs sing in gazebos, courtyards, along the paths, and on balconies (I participated every year until I graduated), and it’s just a pleasant way to spent a cold evening.  So I can’t wait to take kiddo to experience a park she already enjoys in its most festive capacity.

The same day we had our freebie adventures downtown, I finished up my day at Half Price Books in Humble at the first ever Poetry Night.  There were only three of us present, but we had a wonderful time eating chocolate chip cookies and discussing the work of Edna St. Vincent Millay, Sylvia Plath, and Emily Dickinson.  It sounds melancholy and macabre, but I assure you it was quite pleasant.  I spent Friday afternoon talking the program up to teachers at Humble High School, so hopefully we’ll have a bit of a crowd next time.  Keep in mind, it’s the first Thursday of the month all semester, and its a great (and totally free) way to spend an evening.

Now its Saturday and we’ve got Corn Chowder cooking in the crock pot, in anticipation of a cold front, and home-made whip cream (flavored with Amarula) cooling in the fridge waiting for an Almond Cake with a Peach-Berry topping.  Kiddo is playing dress up in the library as I type this post.  I love my life.

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Poetry Nights at Half Price Books

September 5, 2012 at 4:51 pm (Education, Events) (, , , , , , , , )

It all begins tomorrow night! I plan to binge on some William Carlos Williams and Edna St. Vincent Millay.

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paperback writer

September 4, 2012 at 5:20 am (Uncategorized)

She’ll be at Half Price Books in Humble September 15th from 1:30-3:30 pm signing copies!

Karleen Koen's avatarKarleen Koen — writing life

So the paperback of Before Versailles comes out September 4th. Here’s the new cover.

I’ll be doing a blog tour, and I’ll post those blog entries here for awhile. I’ve been asked great questions: what about the man in the iron mask, how do I research, is creativity wild, who was my favorite character…..it will give you a chance to look at historical novel blog sites, and give me a chance to explain more of my process.

I’m working on another book, which means Before Versailles, which was so real to me for so long, has become misty, like old memory. The people I knew as well as I know ones in my real life have receded, stepped back. They only live on the page. May they live for you……

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