Hyper-focus vs. Distraction
Title:ADHD According to Zoe
Author: Zoe Kessler
Genre: Self-help / Memoir
Length: 208 pages
I’ve been called obnoxious, eccentric, and neurotic. I’ve been called charming and passionate. I’ve been called awkward and introverted, I’ve been called enticing, engaging, and the life of the party.
I have been accused of inattentiveness. And of over attentiveness. Sometimes from the same people.
I’ve been compared to those with extreme anxiety and to those with manic depressive disorders. I’ve also been told that I’m none of those things and am quite normal – by some not-so-normal people.
I’m typically punctual, but it takes me two hours, careful planning, and a color coded calendar I’ve maintained since childhood to remember I have an engagement in the first place.
Apparently, these are things that fall in line with the potential to be diagnosed as ADHD – which I find rather interesting. I’ve often viewed ADHD as a bogus excuse for people to be rude and frazzled, and to be chronically late to work (when I have taken such great care to not be late).
I, too, forget to eat or use the restroom because I don’t notice it needs to be done until I am near famished and shaking with hunger or my bladder feels like it is about to explode. Then I gorge myself until people are genuinely in awe that so much food can go into such a tiny human, and try to remind myself to schedule a bathroom break.
I nervously remove myself from the house to go on walks or bike rides. I’ve always been actively involved in independent sports and often been a bit of a work out junky.
The house must be spotless before I sit down to do things – especially things like homework when I was in college – but once sitting I dive into intense “hyper-focus” as Kessler calls it – oblivious to my dogs, any noise, and often leaving my child to choose to do a parallel activity on her own. She builds with her blocks while I read. She paints while I write. We day dream together, but separately. I have to purposefully schedule ‘homeschool’ time so that it is not neglected.
When my hyper-focus is gone, so are my eyelashes as I have absentmindedly plucked them out with my ever moving fingers.
I need to see people, but then I am overwhelmed at public gatherings. There is so much noise that I tune it all out and hear or understand almost nothing. At the same time, even though I may not hear a timer buzz when I am focused, the slightest noise when I am unfocused pains my ears greatly. I often complain to my husband that music is too loud, or the fan blowing keeps me awake, but someone yelling at me across a bar may go completely unnoticed.
I don’t know if I have ADHD. I took that Jasper/ Goldberg test and got an 84. Supposedly, anything over 70 is a good indicator you might be. I don’t care to find out, however. Even though, I’m sure my husband would love to understand why the floors and walls are thoroughly disinfected and free of visible particles, but the laundry is never properly folded and God only knows where I dropped the mail. But I do know that I identify greatly with Kessler’s memoir and I think it is a worthwhile read for anyone – not just those seeking information about ADHD.
It is good for the general population to understand that what is done automatically for some takes a lot of work and practice for others. For me, just getting out of bed involves a mental checklist, a peep at the day planner, and a journal consultation for any previous lists as well as an opportunity to write another list. Not to mention that once I am out, the process of making coffee in my french press is how I time my moseying. Ten minutes to boil water, three minutes to steep. If my moseying is not timed, I’ll never get out of my pajamas, remember to brush my teeth, brush my hair, or leave the house. The dogs will not get to go potty if I am not simultaneously dumping coffee grounds in the garden. Miss one step, and the whole day is lost to me. My calendar never leaves my bedside and I forget I had a lunch date.
If I have ADHD, I think it has been pretty counter balanced by the stimulation and hyper-focus required to get through my GT classes growing up. My choir director required a color-coded paper day planner. My mother required ledgers and lists. My father, the ex-boyscout had a constant mantra: “Always be prepared and always be fifteen minutes early!”
It doesn’t mean that my mind doesn’t do exactly what Kessler describes. Especially her “commune with nature” bit. Without my walks in the woods, I definitely “become cranky, confused, and mentally foggy.”
Instead, it means, that somehow through a lot of self-awareness, self-discovery, panic attacks, and then some… I’ve managed to create in my life goals and careers a little cocoon of an existence that eliminates a lot of the frustrations and issues that could come about for an ADHD person.
I work from home and Kessler says, “Finding work that’s meaningful to you is key. If you’re hypersensitive, consider self-employment.”
She offers advice that I have already taken… Little things like I know I lose my keys about three times a day – I have never lost them in public though because the first thing I did when I got keys was put a climbing hook on one of the key chains so I could fasten them to my belt loop (I almost always wear jeans). I did this at seventeen because my father always told me, “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t screwed on.” So I found a way to screw my keys on, basically.
To the bane of my husband’s existence, I never remember to put them into the key bowl (maybe six out of ten times they make it where they belong… other times they may be found in the freezer, the pantry, the counter, the bathrooms, my bag, another bag…). Many times I have posted facebook status requests for one of my friends to call my phone, because I have no idea where my hands let go of it.
I know people who were diagnosed young and as adults they seem to have this idea that they are not responsible – for their actions, their tardiness, or their bills even. My sensitivity, I think, is limited to physical sensations, because I’ve always thought With everything I go through to get it together, you can too. If I can do it, anyone can do it. Impulsively I have said this, without tact, out loud.
Self awareness is important but diagnosis, I think, can be rocky waters. Kessler seems to walk this road with finesse, owning up to feelings she has hurt while making sure she pursues endeavors that will work with her ADHD, rather than against it.
I like her writing style and look forward to picking up a copy of her first book (perhaps another sign of ADHD as I confess my hoarding tendencies): “Adoption Reunions.”
The most familiar part of the whole book:
As for my shoulder-length hair, I put it up, then down, then up, then down throughout the day. I constantly fidget and fuss with it, something others have commented on repeatedly. […] a loose strand on my neck or the side of my cheek drives me crazy. To get it off my neck, I’ll bunch it up in a knot. Before long, it feels like someone is driving brass knuckles into my skull just where I’ve knotted my hair, so down it comes.
Not long after that, she writes: “Flashing lights, large crowds, and emergency vehicle sirens can be unbearable.”
Every day, Zoe, every day I am with you.
Goals are the Gas in Your Car
Title: Life Is Hard But God Is Good
Author: L. Jay Horton
Genre: Self-Help
Length: 233 pages
My best days usually involve me waking up earlier – before my child wakes me up. I mosey through the kitchen, I get my coffee, I read something ‘too serious for late at night’ usually Augustine or the bible or something that my newly awake mind can handle better than my sleepy, tired mind can. I write for awhile, I read something not-so-serious but with a positive spin, and then of course am interrupted by my child for toast. After toast, all bets are off and it’s whatever I am in the mood or have time for that gets read.
Those are my ‘best’ days, not every day. But my best days have included a few minutes with L. Jay Horton post ‘too serious reading.’ He’s good for a little motivational pep talk and reminds me of things that I really need to remember – like staying positive, not letting other peoples’ negativity get me down, and enjoying the setting of goals. I love goals. I’ve always been big on goals – that’s why I named my review “Goals are the Gas in Your Car” because it’s my favorite thing that Horton said in the whole book. And the book is full of some good stuff.
I’m typically leery of pep talk books. The likes of Joel Osteen make me nervous. I hear the skepticism of my father in my head when I see him, “Of course he’s smiling, he’s taking all your money.” But Horton is genuine. I’ve met him in person, worked with him at book signings, enjoyed coffee over the enigma of the twitter-spere – Horton wants good things for people and his book is all about him sharing the things he’s learned about achieving good things in life.
Horton’s book feels a lot like a lukewarm bible study, but it’s really meant for your professional life. Wake up each morning, read a chapter, go back to the grindstone with a smile on your face and productivity in your heart… success will follow. He talks about the importance of greeting your coworkers with a hello and a smile, about not chatting it up with the people who bring negativity to you, and the importance of goal setting. It’s all common sense stuff that is so easy to lose sight of if you’re not being reminded of it every day.
All in all, Horton’s book is full of good stuff and I look forward to reading more of his work in the future. And I know there will be more work from him to read, because Horton still has goals – after all goals are the gas in his car.
Interview with Marit Menzin
Along with the story time kids, I had the opportunity to interview the author of Song for Papa Crow
First, questions from the kids:
“What made you want to write a book like this one, about crows and singing?” – Justin, age 9
I love animals and nature, and I’m childlike in the sense that I always keep asking questions. I live in Lexington, Massachusetts where I see most of the birds featured in Song for Papa Crow in my backyard. The idea for my book came to me when I helped one of my children with a school project on birds. When I discovered that father crows take care of their offspring longer than most other birds, and that the whole flock would come to help a wounded crow, I asked myself: What would happen if a little crow was teased by songbirds for his unique song? And, what if in his quest to make friends he learned the other birds’ songs, but when he was in danger his father wouldn’t recognize his song? This idea is not farfetched, as I learned to my surprise that crows can mimic sounds made by animals and other birds, as well as sounds made by humans.
“What moral were you trying to get across?” – Ethan, age 11
When I wrote my story I wasn’t thinking about morals, but there are many morals that I subconsciously conveyed: Every child is special, and every child has unique gifts. Be proud of your family, and with who you are. It’s a good idea to tell your parents where you’re going, and whom you’re hanging out with so they’ll know where to find you. Your family loves you no matter what. Your family is the most important thing.
“My question is about Papa Crow. Will he always save Little Crow? That’s my question.” – Ayla, age 3
Yes. Papa Crow will ALWAYS save Little Crow when he hears his voice. For Papa Crow, Little Crow’s voice is the sweetest thing in the world.
“Exactly why did you make the singing scenes? And who did you write the story for?” – Ian, age 7
I made the singing scenes because the birds I see and listen to in my backyard inspired me. I also thought that it would be fun to research bird songs and rituals.
“Why did you make the mockingbird the rock star?” – Alex, age 9
Although Song for Papa Crow is a fiction picture book, the story line is based on true facts. The mockingbird is a great singer who can imitate the sounds of other birds, and is also one of the few birds that can be heard singing at night.
Questions from Anaklian Whims Blog:
What led you to Schiffer Books? (www.schifferbooks.com)
I heard of Schiffer Publishing from a local author I ran into when my art was exhibited at my local library. 
What inspired your collage art? It’s a very unique way to illustrate.
I doodled and painted since my early childhood, and I experimented with different art media including oils, and pastels. But I only started developing my collage technique when I took classes with the Caldecott award-winning illustrator Ilse Plume at the deCordova Museum.
I see that you are a freelance collage artist. You do book covers for hire? What sort of cost would an indie author be looking at?
I designed the cover for my book. In general, a cover price can range anywhere from $150 to $4000 but an Indie Author could pay $250-$1000 depending on what she’s looking for and how much work is involved.
Do you have more kids’ books of your own in your future?
I’m currently working on the illustrations for a new book.
I see you do school visits. What would it take to get you to Texas?
I would love to visit Texas. You’ll have to add travel & lodging expenses to visit cost. For more about this author/illustrator, visit: http://maritmenzin.com/
Oh. Em. Gee. The Infernal Devices And My 48 Hour Book Binge
So glad it’s not just me.
Fairy Bell (and Fizz)
Title: Fairy Bell Sisters: Sylva and the Fairy Ball
Author: Margaret McNamara
Illustrator: Julia Denos
Kiddo is on a Peter Pan kick. We’re reading bits of Peter Pan every night before bed. She’s watching the Disney movie as I type this. A few months back she watched the ballet.
Not just Peter Pan, though. She loves ALL things Neverland. Jake & the Neverland Pirates is a huge favorite and she’s dying for the lego set. I’m making her wait until her birthday. Speaking of birthdays, the child wants a Neverland themed party. She will dress as Tinker Bell, she says, someone must be Peter Pan. Everyone else has to be a lost boy. If we could get one of the grandfathers or uncles to be Captain Hook I think the girl might die of happiness on the spot. She loves Captain Hook. Also, she has an unusual amount of adoration for crocodiles and clocks.
So, naturally, when she saw a book at the library with a fairy she squealed, “Tinka Bell.” Her “er” sounds don’t always makes it all the way out of her mouth. She’s only three. I explained that the book was about Tinker Bell’s little sisters. She was blinded by fairy wings and shoved them in the library bag.
Warning to other Moms: THIS IS NOT A STORY ABOUT TINKER BELL.
Or Neverland.
My daughter had to remind me of this on nearly every page. I cannot express enough how disappointed she was…
Until the TROLLS arrived.
Apparently we are a troll-loving family. Both me and my daughter loved The Three Billy Goats Gruff (my grandmother read it to me when I spent the night at her house and kiddo has her own updated version we read all the time).
She is fascinated by The Hobbit. Mostly, I think, for the troll scene. She has seen the live action movie, but she relishes the 1970’s cartoon.
And of course – we adore Fizz & Peppers. I adore Fizz & Peppers and I think she loves it a bit because I do – but it is heaven. And full of trolls.
Ultimately, she enjoyed the book, but decided she didn’t want to read the rest of the series yet. At the end of the Fairy Bell ball story there is a blueberry birthday cake – and a blueberry fairy cake recipe. So, naturally, we baked. Oddly enough, we had freshly picked blueberries in our fridge… picked by M.G. King (the author of Fizz & Peppers!) and delivered to our house!
Another odd coincidence for this reading adventure… take a look at these chapters:
The books have nothing in common. And somehow managed to have everything in common. It was one of those reading experiences where we could not sit down and read one without thinking of the other. Note: Chapter three of the Fairy Bell Sisters book ends on that page. On the next page begins chapter four.
Til the next reading adventure…
Book to Movie Confessions
As a book lover, it’s inevitable that two movies would have been on my viewing roster for 2013 – The Great Gatsby and The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones.
As a literary snob, it’s inevitable that I’ll tell you The Great Gatsby is marvelous and rich and The Mortal Instruments are teen franchise fluff. (Teen franchise fluff that I read and re-read.)
As someone who has worked on indie film crews with family in the not-so-indie industry, I’ll tell you that The Great Gatsby was the more phenomenal film. Baz Luhrmann is incredible.
But here is my confession:
When the house is too quiet… when I need something on the television to pass the time between books… when I’m ruminating on the world at large – it’s not The Great Gatsby that I play on repeat.
I gave a review of the film when I first saw it. I was late to the party, I don’t rush to the theatres anymore. The crowds overwhelm me. I can muster up the energy to exist in a crowd, but I pick and choose those moments carefully. I need to be moving (like on a bike) or listening to an amazing band. Opening night at a theatre has to be for something really special and I’d prefer advance notice. I’ve aged into a curmudgeon, I suppose.
I’m not changing my initial review. That would be unfair. I don’t like editing much – I had those thoughts – they existed. I still agree with them even. But I’m not sure “fell flat” is how I would currently describe the movie. Not after a month of having it be my go to television time. I read 14 books in June, but when I wasn’t reading, I was watching a heck of a lot of The Mortal Instruments.
I clean my house to it. I sort through closets with it on. I have to take breaks from it to go teach ABCs and plan history lessons. But still, it’s there when I come back and I find it comforting.
I think it’s because it is a story I can half be involved in while I’m doing something else… a story that is easy to relate to not because of the angels and demons and typical boy-girl romance, but because there are some things you never grow out of. There are both beautiful and awkward memories that stay with you. There are moments I can see so clearly in my head from my own life when I hear someone say a line a certain way.
Teen franchises are so popular because – well, we’ve all been teens before.
More than the romance, the camaraderie of a group of people so devoted to their cause is what draws me to adventure stories like this one.
And yes, I like to joke a bit and say that it’s because I can’t get enough of Jamie Campbell Bower’s face. But obviously, when he’s there on screen, it’s Jace’s face. And ultimately, it takes a lot more than a face to get me to watch a movie a dozen or so times – it takes talent and a true tribute to a work of art and I think they did their best. Even if it didn’t quite live up to my lofty expectations, I think everyone involved honored Clare’s work better than anyone else could have.
I may just go to the theatre when City of Ashes comes out.
Books I Gave Away
I may be moving. We’re not sure yet. That is another story for another time – and trust me, regardless of the outcome, the story will be told.
In these uncertain times, I am going through my belongings, and most importantly, my library. I’m consolidating, selling, giving away.
I haven’t cataloged every book donated or tossed. You would think the ex-inventory manager in me would, but honestly I find it a little depressing. But there are a few that have made some pretty huge impacts on my memory.
So here are the things I remember getting rid of (I donated about 100 books to the public library recently, if not more), and why:
Ramses Series by Christian Jacq
I read the first three of this series and then gave up. I owned all five. I loved Christian Jacq’s Queen of Freedom trilogy and immediately purchased two other historical fiction series by this world famous Egyptologist and fiction writer. I got annoyed with the Ramses series because it did not feel based in history at all, which is something that I find incredibly annoying especially for this genre. I’m keeping the Queen of Freedom books because I loved them; and the Stone of Light series because I haven’t read it. Ramses, on the other hand, had to go. A week after dropping them off at the library, I saw them perched all in a row on a shelf. It made me smile.
Walter Mosley Hardbacks
I don’t know how I ended up with these. I do remember them surviving previous purges because I intended to read them eventually. I thought it was nice to have a diverse collection. But the truth is: I like classic literature and I like cozy mysteries. I don’t tend to read a lot of run of the mill genre mystery books and these just never called my name. Not ever. They sat and amidst John Grisham titles from my childhood and collected dust. I’m glad to know they were not perched on the for sale shelf at the library – either they are currently in circulation or they got bought up quickly. That, too, makes me smile.
James Herriot
I think I mentioned this already, but goodness! Me, oh, my! I end up with so many duplicates of this fellow. Every time I pull a book from a corner I swear it’s a James Herriot duplicate of an existing hardback I have tucked somewhere else. They’re everywhere! I think James Herriot books may actually reproduce other James Herriot books – like plastic bags from the grocery store manage to do in your pantry – put one in there and out come five. No smiling here. Just sheer, baffled giggles.
What books do you find yourself purging when the time comes?
How to Achieve True Boredom
Title: How to Achieve True Greatness
Author: Baldesar Castiglione
Publisher: Penguin (Great Ideas)
The Penguin Great Ideas Books are usually my go to source of reading something in one sitting. If not that, I toss them in my bag or back pocket for a walk in the woods or for waiting room entertainment.
How to Achieve True Greatness did not live up to my expectations.
This was 93 pages of pure boredom.
I picked it up – read some pages – put it down. I took it to the bathtub with me only to find myself wanting to get out of the tub faster to pick a different book.
There were some bits about twenty pages in that interested me long enough for the book to start redeeming itself, but then I later lost interest again.
Not your best, world history masters, not your best.
Anakalian Whims 