If These Walls Had Ears
Title: If These Walls Had Ears
Author: James Morgan
Publisher: Warner Books
Length: 275 pages
“A house is man’s attempt to stave off the anarchy of nature. Ripping up that floor had allowed a disturbing glimpse into the house’s secret life. It’s more comfortable not to know about such things.” – pg. 88
James Morgan may have been speaking about Billie Murphree’s floor rot from undercover water, but no words used in description of a house have ever hit me harder or rung so true.
Barely two years into owning our own home, my husband ripped up our living room carpet. We had lofty ambitions of laying tile or hardwood floors. We had tiled the living room of a town home once and it had turned out quite nicely for the low cost of $400. Those were the days when we thought home repair and renovation fun. Now, it’s just a necessity. No sooner had the carpet been pulled up, we discovered what we un-lovingly refer to as The Grand Canyon in our foundation.
Upon further inspection, the enormous crack ran from one end of the house to the other, from the outer wall where my rose and herb garden touches our driveway, through the kitchen, under the bar, across the living room, down the hallway, into the bathroom, and right out the outer wall against the side yard where I hope to make a courtyard one day.
We were devastated. We had bought our dream home, except for the master bathroom which will forever irritate and haunt my poor husband, only to find that it wasn’t a dream at all. Our dream home was a wreck, a fixer upper, a money pitt – it kind of still is.
We had $15k worth of foundation repair done at a discounted price – the company is run by a saint – literally, he’s a Gideon, and I’m quite certain he felt sorry for us. He even gave us plenty of time to pay him off and didn’t charge us interest. No sooner had we paid our bill in full, we discovered the breakfast room was now sliding into our back yard and had to have more foundation repair. Our back fence, our back door, my daughter’s window, nothing in this house is safe. It’s fragile, it’s old, it’s exhausting. We had to dig up our front yard and repair plumbing ourselves, we’ve had work done by professionals under both bathrooms.
Oh, and our insurance company is worthless, they paid for exactly nothing.
Yes, Mr. Morgan, a home is man’s attempt to stave off the anarchy of nature. Nature riots in many ways: mud sliding our from under our apparently unstable foundation, a shake slithering up through the crack in our living room, the rain rotting our fence, the winds of Hurricane Ike displacing our other fence and blowing out a window pane in our back door. Our sidewalk to our mail box sunk into our front yard, a storm took down our light post. It never ends. It’s never over.
Despite the issues, despite the debt, despite it possibly being the biggest mistake of our married lives, I’m in love with this house. We’ve been through ups and downs, trials and errors, hell and we’re not quite back, but it’s my home. Technically, it belongs to the bank, but we live under the illusion that it’s ours, and the illusion has a safe feeling to it, until the next time something breaks…
“In a house you never can tell where the next trouble will erupt. A door knob will suddenly come off in your hand. A heating duct in the belly of the house will lose a screw and pop out of its fitting. Even if you think you know the trouble spots, you’ll be taken by surprise. A piece of upstairs trim will swell up and warp, and the next thing you know, the rain will be leaking in downstairs and two walls away.” – pg. 109
Still, for whatever reason, everyone loves old houses. I remember when we were house hunting I specifically asked for a house in an older neighborhood surrounded by trees. “Nothing newer than the ’80’s,” I told my realtor, “No cookie cutter neighborhoods.” “Why, oh Why?!” I inevitably cursed later when we had to shave down parts of our interior doors so we could open and close them because the house had shifted yet again. “Why?!” we yelled when a brick just came out of our stoop, just slipped right out from under our door and lay across the porch where a welcome mat should have been. “Why?!” we screamed when a board from our deck in front of the garage door collapsed.
Because like Morgan says,
“Old houses look like home to us. They appeal not to our practical side but to whatever romantic part of us traffics in hopes and dreams, or wallows in nostalgia. They’re flirts, old houses. They get painted up real pretty – the way this house was when I first saw it – and they show off a lot of front porch and invite you in for a little French dooring, and the next thing you know, they’ve snared another sucker.” – pg. 180
Morgan’s book is endearing, nostalgic, and beautiful. It speaks to home owners, future home owners, and anyone who has ever fallen in love with a building of any kind. If These Walls Had Ears really speaks to my heart. There’s even an Andi that shows up briefly and takes part in 501 Holly’s biography. It makes you hope that in another fifty or so years someone will write a sequel to this old house’s life story.
The only part I didn’t like, despite a very beautiful quote in it, was the epilogue which summed up the lives (or the divorces and deaths, rather) of all the people who once lived in 501 Holly. It was depressing to say the least.
To My Beagle
Oh dear boy how you’ve aged…
As a pup I loved your floppy ears and soft belly
Now ears are lumpy, feel like hardened jelly
That belly is fat and your hair is half gone
You are going gray and don’t have long
Oh my dear, dear boy
How you’ve aged
You were so tiny, you brought me my keys
You gazed at me ’til I gave you a squeeze
We snuggled and played every day
On long walks you’d lead the way
You still snuggle, despite your bad skin
When we walk, you have trouble breathing in
Oh dear boy how you’ve aged!
My sweet little beagle, once so soft and fun
Has gotten old and greasy, too tired to run
I called you ‘boyfriend dog,’ side by side we slept
You’d rest your head on my shoulder whenever I wept
And now you curl up, away from us all
Old, tired, your peppy step now a crawl
We love you old boy, our sweet beagle dog
Our little old man, a bump on a log
My dear, dear, sweet boy
How much you have aged…
Journaling at HPB Humble
Click image to see more on artistic journaling.
January 10t
h, 2013, I sat down for the very first journaling night at Half Price Books in Humble. My customers weren’t exactly sure what to expect, and honestly, neither was I. I brought my prisma colors, glue sticks, some fancy pens, and scrapbooking scissors. We had magazines, scrapbooking paper, free unlined journals for all who attended, and a whole lot of untapped creativity.
Hanging out with others while they drew, doodled, wrote, glued and pasted, was kind of awesome. It’s relaxing to be creative with others, pool your resources, and brainstorm techniques. Relaxing and stimulating, actually; so much so that we plan to gather monthly.
2nd Thursday of the Month from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm, plan to sit around a table and really tackle the art of journaling with art. This first meeting was a bit of an experimental night, but in the future I hope to incorporate some of those fabulous Pinterested projects that are floating around the web, possibly even start binding our own journals.
There are just so many things we could do at these gatherings and I can’t wait to dive in and pursue every avenue of this hobby.
Come be crafty with me.
Also, check this out: http://artsyville.blogspot.com/2012/11/a-village-in-my-mind-full-color-friday.html
Weekly Low Down on Kids Books – Math Adventures
Title: Sir Cumference and the First Round Table
Author: Cindy Neuschwander
Illustrator: Wayne Geehan
I think everyone who has talked to me for longer than a minute and a half about children’s books knows how much I adore Brian P. Cleary
So a two year old who still stumbles through her ABC song, can only manage some really intense stripes when writing, and can only identify circles and triangles isn’t really ready for a book about circumferences, diameters, the concept of a radius, parallelograms, diamonds, and all that, but that’s when it is perfect to start reading these stories. By the time she needs the information, I want the stories thoroughly engrained in her mind.
Sir Cumference is a knight, married to Lady Di of Ameter, father of a short-stack son named Radius. With their help, King Arthur is able to come up with a plan to keep his knights on their best behavior as they discuss the well-being of Camelot. Add to the cast of characters a carpenter named Geo of Metry, the books instill all the basic concepts of geometry in the disguise of some exciting fake King Arthur folklore. Start reading the books to your kid from birth through early elementary school and you’ve got one math savvy child without even trying. As a home school mom with a serious distaste for math, I want my kid to enjoy it and make her life a lot easier than mine was by the time her high school curriculum comes along.
For slightly older kids, I’d say ages 5-10, the book easily lends itself to hands on activities. Paper projects, baking projects, even wood working if you were bold and wanted to make an actual play table, the story takes you step by step through cutting a rectangle down into all the various shapes. And, of course, it’s a series. Click the Sir Cumference link to purchase from Amazon. Click the collection image to go to another blogger’s reviews.
Other Sir Cumference
Sir Cumference and the Dragon of Pi
Sir Cumference and All the King’s Tens
Sir Cumference and the Viking’s Map
Sir Cumference and the Isle of Immeter
Sir Cumference and the Great Knight of Angleland
Sir Cumference and the Sword in the Cone
(As an Amazon affiliate I earn from qualifying purchases.)
Young Adult
Confession:
I have an illness. I see an indie film and no matter how awful it looks, I feel the urge to give it a shot. It’s an indie film, which to me means it’s an underdog, and who knows, what if it’s a hidden gem of awesomeness?
Take that and a love for authors, books, stories about authors of books, and Charlize Theron in all her hotness – how could I pass up Young Adult on Netflix? I just couldn’t.
Oh dear God, give me that hour and thirty-three minutes of my life back.
That’s not fair, the movie is good for what it is. It is well done. It has a bit of wit to it. The director of photography did this brilliant thing with a cassette tape and player and the beginning that I totally loved.
But I really don’t think it is possible for a character to stress me out anymore than Mavis Gary just managed. I mean seriously, what was wrong with that crazy lady?! Everything! That’s what!
She is an alcoholic who drinks way too much diet coke first thing in the morning – out of the bottle. She is chronically unsatisfied, sleeps around, divorced, 37, at the tale end of writing glory (she was a ghost writer of a young adult series that is a few years past its prime selling years), and oh yeah the most important part: she’s chasing down her married ex-boyfriend who just had a baby with his wife. It’s a pretty ballsy role for Theron, and she pulls it off brilliantly; I just want to strangle the whole demented story, if strangling a story could ever be possible.
The best part, the part that does make the movie worth a damn, is Patton Oswalt. I sort of love him. A lot. He is an awesome supporting actor that shows up in everything, but I know him best as Joel Mynor in Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse. He is Mavis’ voice of reason in this little fiasco of a man hunt/coming of age story. Can you call it a coming of age story if the protagonist is 37? I think not, but I promise you, it fits. And in the end when the Patton Oswalt’s on-screen sister asks to go back to the Mini-Apple with Mavis, I desperately wanted her to say ‘Can’t I’m taking your super awesome brother.’ Of course, that didn’t happen because despite the Esmeralda/Quasimodo dynamic, Young Adult’s own Quasimodo character was way to good for the likes of the star beauty.
Oh dear God give me that hour and thirty three minutes of my life back – except don’t. Even though it was kind of painful to watch, it resonates a bit. Check it out. Let me know what you make of it.
Poetry Nights at Half Price Books
Make time in your life this Spring for student led Poetry Nights at Half Price Books in Humble.
The Prominence League
Title: The Prominence League
Author: C. David Cannon
Publisher: Lucid Books
Genre: Young Adult
Length: 197 pages
C. David Cannon is friendly, jovial even. I don’t know if he is like this all the time or if he was just on a high from his first official book signing, but I would consider him quite pleasant.
His book, on the other hand, is not jovial. Instead, it’s a social commentary on freedom, discussed in the form of a dystopian fiction piece. ‘Ah, yes, a dystopian society young adult novel… you’re a sucker for those,’ I can hear the blogosphere groan. I AM! I am a sucker for those, because they’re inevitably so darn good!
“I think to myself that I am tired of being a captive. I am tired of living under their tyrannical guidelines, being monitored every minute, and rationed food and resources. I finally admit to myself that the President was right. I have been caught up in the adventure, and cannot turn back now.”
Like Carriane, you’ll get caught up in the adventure too, and you won’t want to turn back.
Fans of Invitation to the Game
The Prominence League, though a completely different story with a totally different style, continuously reminded me of Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress
Those are values you expect to find in a Chinese man who fled to France in the 80’s to publish copies of his own illegal work, but not in a fifth grade teacher in suburbia. For that, I find Cannon refreshing.
At the Half Price Books Humble book signing, Cannon told a story about his fifth grade class and how he read chapters to his students. He talked of a running joke they had together about how often a character passed out at the end of each segment. If the book has one flaw, it would be that Carriane McAdams does indeed have a hard time getting from chapter to chapter while remaining conscious. Summoning my middle-grade self, however, I found I enjoyed the game of ‘how does she get conked out this time?’ It gave the book an interactive air and kept it from feeling too dark.
I would have liked to see the book about a 50 pages longer, develop Carriane’s relationship with her own environment and Caleb prior to his disappearing act and her re-education. I would have liked to see her spend more time in training, get a better understanding of what that training feels like to the characters, but wrap up the novel exactly the same. There is nothing wrong with how Cannon handled his story, it is highly entertaining, and I think it would make a strong impact on a young reader. The opening just moved more quickly than I would have liked, which is probably the same quality that makes it perfect for intermediate readers – he gets right to the point. Cannon’s book would be a great gift for enticing kids to love the written word.
The Prominence League Two and Three are yet to come. When they do, I would be psyched to purchase a Prominence League Omnibus complete with all three books in one volume… hint, hint to the marketing department at Lucid Books.
An Evening for Journaling
Journaling at Half Price Books in Humble
Have you always wanted to keep a journal but couldn’t seem to get started? Your HPB in Humble will introduce you to the art of journaling. On Thursday, January 10 at 7 pm use your personal unique style to create your own pages, write your story and use your words as art. The first five attendees will receive free blank journals.
Anakalian Whims 