Inappropriate Things to Do to Pregnant Women

September 23, 2010 at 9:54 pm (In So Many Words, The Whim) (, , , )

taken from jokesprank.com

… and for some reason the masses think its ok…

* Squeal loudly at them, directing half the conversation at their enlarged gut.

(Back to that whole: “Please look at my face when we’re talking” kinda thing.  The kid isn’t out yet, it can’t see you making googoo faces at it, and talking baby talk at me isn’t going to accomplish anything anyway.)

* Rub the belly, attack the belly, poke the belly – pretty much any touching of the belly that you would not do if the person was not pregnant.

(We’re not Buddha, we can still feel that, if I didn’t want you rubbing my six pack at random in the super market I probably don’t want you doing it now – I can still feel that.  And don’t take it personally as though I have somehow slighted YOU because I didn’t want you to molest me.)

* Hit on them.

(On what planet is it ok to hit on someone who is having another man’s child?  Just because I’m having sex and there is obvious proof of that fact, doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you.  Don’t look at me like that, don’t ask for my number, and don’t keep talking to me after I tell you I’m married and wave my wedding ring at you.  Whether you have a twisted fetish or you’re just trying to make the “fat” girl feel good about her day – its creepy.  Don’t do it.)

* Lecture them about their tattoos.

(Just because I have a tattoo and I’m pregnant, does not mean that I went and got that tattoo while I was conceiving, seconds after the strip turned pink, or eight months into my pregnancy.  I’m not an idiot, I know that getting a tattoo while pregnant is not a good thing to do – why would you assume that’s exactly what I did?  I had a lifetime to get a tattoo… I’ve only got 10 months of being pregnant.  Use your brain.)

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